Today, for the first time, I went to a doctor who was the same age, or possibly younger, than me. I did not like this! Doctors should be at least ten years older than me, because I am still very stupid and I don't know what I'm doing and how can someone my age prescribe drugs and make sure my body is functioning? To makes things worse, he was a hipster, in tight jeans and a red shirt and scruffy curly hair and a bit of a beard. Doctors should be neatly, though dowdily, dressed, in things like cordouroy trousers and brown skirts and serviceable shirts bought at a department store ten years ago.

Kids today, with their blood pressure monitors and stethoscopes!